Kinda Bitter

It happened today. I was finishing up Christmas shopping today, while the Hubs was at the hospital with Gagers, and I hit me, came out of no where and knocked me flat on my ass. I was jealous of all the parents in the store Christmas shopping for their perfectly healthy kids. Kids who haven’t spent the last eighteen days in the hospital, kids who have not had to fight for their lives for the last four and a half months. They haven’t had to watch the devastation on parents faces as they are told their kids have a terminal illness, or see the look that crosses their face when they realize this may be one of the last Christmases they have with their kid, and it’s going to be spent in the hospital. In the last 138 days I have never gotten upset or jealous about healthy kids and healthy families, because I’d not wish this on my worst enemy.
I hate myself, for feeling this way. Really, it’s nobodies fault my kid is sick and theirs are not. Ick, even writing this makes me feel bad.
But on the plus side, we are HOME!!

Free at last, free at last, thank the doctors; I’m free at last!

5 responses to “Kinda Bitter

  1. Glad You Guys Are HOME!!!!! I hope for a MANY Merry Christmases(sp)!

  2. Seems more envious than jealous.

  3. Yay! So happy you are free of the hospital. Have a Merry Christmas!

  4. SOOOOOOOOOOOO happy u are home! and dont feel bad for having feelings! we are human and all have the same thoughts and feelings! love ya guys xoxo

  5. Please don’t feel bad for feeling that way! Who wouldn’t be mad and jealous. It isn’t the families you are mad at but the unfairness of the whole situation. I just felt the need to tell you that it is okay to feel that way! No really!!

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