Twas the day before Christmas, and all through the house the baby was sleeping, daddy was working and mommy was being lazy, wearing her jammies, eating chips and salsa on the couch, catching up my sixteen and pregnant episodes. When I should have been doing laundry, washing last nights dishes,***because they are starting to smell*** and finishing up the Christmas cookie/candy platter I’m going to pass off as baking it all myself, and trying to find something to wear on Christmas day that actually fits me; an almost impossible task. ***I’m lazy and I like to eat***
This holiday season has been kind of hard for me, also the fact that it’s been raining non stop for days, our house is flooded and we had to move in with the in-laws doesn’t help. We are stuck in doors, and can’t run and play in the rain; can anybody say cabin fever? But also watching parents taking their kids to see Santa at the mall, the Christmas tree farms with the bounce house castles, happy kids running around the toy isle in ToysRus pointing out what they want for Christmas. I can’t take Gage to any of these places, and as pretty as our artificial tree is, it would have been so much fun to take Gagers to the tree lot, and to go down the slide, or ride the ponies; but since Gage is neutropenic, we can’t get a real tree, in case the water gets moldy. Santa is so out of the question because of all the germs***kids*** Gage can again get sick, and toy stores? Forget about it. Can somebody please make me a plastic bubble, so I can take Gagers places? I’d even change his name to Tod Lubich, for this bubble. Come on, any takers? None?***crickets*** Fine, whatever we’ll stay home. Whatever.
Has anybody ever seen that movie Extraordinary Measures, with Brandon Fraser and Keri Russell? Well, it’s probably the worst movie to watch if you have a kid with a terminal illness; of course I watched it. Big mistake. I have been having regular panic attacks and bouts of anxiety filled days and nights, all because of Encino Man and Felicity. The scene where their daughter is in the hospital and starts to crash, brought back everything I had worked so hard to forget, and get past. Keri Russell screaming as her daughter is dying in front of her; makes me want to vomit as I write this. The agony of watching her go through something I had been through was pure hell for me, hearing the nurses asking her to please leave the room, not knowing what’s going to happen to her baby, she lived; but I couldn’t watch anymore.
Even though I have done A LOT of complaining the last couple of days, I have so much to be happy for. The rain has FINALLY stopped! It’s sunny outside, my Christmas presents are all wrapped, Gage is out of the hospital and is healthy***for now***, my twin sister and her two crazy cute ass kids flew in from Arizona this morning; and I can’t wait to see them! Oh! I finally got a disability check in the mail, which means I am not in danger of loosing my health insurance anymore. BIG RELIEF.
In 3 years, we will be taking family pictures while Gage runs snuck and picks a tree and this will be a mere memory. I promise you this on my big toe.