For the most part we love all of our nurses, and the amazing care they give to Gage. They always take the time to ask me how I am doing and to talk about non leukemia related parts of my life, even if leukemia takes up 100% of my life, they will find something to talk about; it’s nice.
We were in the hospital for seven weeks, which was five weeks more than “normal” leukemia patients. In that time we came to love our hospital nurses, they would stop by to give him a hug or say hi if they weren’t going to take care of him that day. One of the nurses gave Gage a vial of holy water she brought back from the Vatican, another brought us a baby bathtub so he could get a proper bath since he hadn’t had one at least a month by that point. That same nurse once stayed after her twelve-hour shift to watch Gage so the Hubs and I could go out and eat dinner, and have some time away from the hospital. They brought us DVD’s to watch and magazines to read, snuck in to watch Oprahs’ twenty-fifth season premier with me, listened when I was needed to talk, and hugged me when I was alone. It was little things like that, which made our seven weeks in the hospital not seem so bad.
So I was kind of sad when at one appointment a couple of Mondays ago I asked our check in nurse about her youngest son, and she went on about him turning five and him being her baby, she didn’t want him to get older and bigger; and that made her sad. I stood there listening with a smile on my face, but I felt sick hearing her words, because I WANT MY SON TO TURN FIVE, in fact I can’t wait.
Did she have a lapse in judgement? Did she forget that not everybody in this particular waiting room have that option of our kids turning five or ever-growing older? I wanted to put her in her place, let her know how upset this made me. How dare you be sad you have a healthy child!? But then, I remembered that’s it not her fault Gage is sick and her child isn’t; and I shouldn’t begrudge her. I can’t begrudge her, I want to, but I wont.
I still love our nurses, and know that they are doing everything in their power to make Gage better, and to make our lives easier. I’m sure if I told the nurse how I felt about her comment she would be devastated at the hurt she inadvertently caused me, I guess I just wont ask her about her kid anymore.