Daily Archives: April 21, 2011

CER-TEE-FIED

Oh. My. God. I swear I thought I was pregnant. Just writing those words makes me clammy and sweaty, I think I’m gonna puke and not because I am pregnant, thank you baby jeebus! Yes, I know you’re all saying but Momma you’re on a reliable birth control method what happened? How could this be? 0.1% that’s how it could be.

For months, I have been dizzy like crazy and vomitt-y everyday all day. OMG! I could have been one of those women who gave birth on the toilet! ACK! could you imagine? But I bet you all didn’t know I’m a certified Google doctor. So when I typed in all of my symptoms, Google straight said, you maybe pregnant; get a test. After I picked my scared ass up off the floor, I ran to Target and bought the test. Three of them, all NEGATIVE ***cue the singing angels***

…So wait. The good news is I’m not pregnant. Then where the hell did the eleven pounds I have gained since February come from then?! DAMMIT!

I have been an emotional wreck, crying at the drop of a hat. Like waaaaaaay more then usual. At way stupid stuff too, but come on who ate my flaming hot cheetos?! dammit, I was looking forward to eating those while reading Two Kisses For Maddy*, which even if I hadn’t already been an emotional mess, this book pushed me over the edge. I recommend it for anybody who wants to read about true love, that was lost and the power of survival. Matt truly is an inspiration. It was a great book.

TWO KISSES FOR MADDY

Quick ask me a medical question, and  I will get you an answer on Google.**

*Also Matt nor Maddy have a clue who I am. They probably don’t really even care what I think, so obviously I was not compensated in anyway for reading his amazeball book. But Buy it anyway.

** Ask at your own risk ;)