Try and try again

I haven’t written in a while, mainly because I have been hopeful and not wanting to say anything to jinx Gage from finally reaching the maintenance portion of his chemotherapy treatment. It would usually take a person who has no complications in his chemotherapy six months to reach this phase but since Gage is basically Murphy’s Law when it comes to leukemia we are about eight and a half months in without starting maintenance yet. Yesterday Gage was supposed to have a lumbar puncture, but his ANC was too low, meaning Gage is at an extremely high risk for infection. So no lumbar puncture, which means no starting maintenance. Hopefully next week when we go back, his counts will be high enough and we can start treatment.

This is the second week in a row, that Gage’s counts have dropped. Hearing the doctors say, he looks great and telling us he should  pass, instead we end up hearing that he “flunked”  I hate this waiting, the not knowing. The wondering why his counts instead of going up this week they went down. Having to trust in what the doctor is saying but fearing for the worst. Putting on a brave face and a smile, telling our families this is normal, but never really knowing. Hoping what I am being told is true. Hoping what I am telling them is true.

On the up and up Gage’s hair has started to grow back, and he looks like a fuzzy headed baby chick, his hair is so soft and some bits are longer then the rest like a little comb over. I love to rub my fingers through it. It’s his favorite way to fall asleep.  He is also so full of energy that I can barely keep up with him half the time, so I am hoping and praying and wishing that this is just a minor setback in the road to recovery; and that next week is counts are high enough to finally start maintenance. 

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8 responses to “Try and try again

  1. I know Gage will be fine. He is very strong.God has put him here for a reason.I know in my heart he will make.So always stay strong, and remember you family is always here for you both. Be sides he going to be a Steeler quarter back. I’ll even take aline backer. Love You Gage XOXO

  2. Big hugs. You are an amazing Mama to put on such a brave face for all. I’m sure he will be fine. Kids are tough. It just takes time.

    {{Hugs}}

  3. Thank you so much for posting, we have been thinking about you guys. Gage is going to be fine, and you are magnificent for being such a strong woman. Please let us know how it goes. Your internet family loves you!!!

  4. You are in my heart and healing thoughts!

  5. So happy to see your new post. Thought and prayers are with you every day. You are so strong and such a wonderful mommy! Big Big hugs coming your way right now!

  6. I am always praying… he WILL be fine, there is no other choice. I can’t wait to see you guys on Easter. Love you!!

  7. Glad to see you writing again! Praying for his counts, for everything to smooth out and settle down…. And for his hair to come back red… Okay sorry had to throw that one in ;-)

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